Legitimate - able to defend with logic or justification. In other words (mine), well-founded and valid. All my life I felt like I’ve been waiting for the day I finally become legitimate. The moment I know “adult things’ and understand a certain amount about the world is the day I would be accepted as someone ‘real,' or ‘valid.' You may suggest that this sounds like reaching adulthood in complicated terms, but it's more than that.
I’m waiting for the day I feel good/knowledgeable enough of a human to have achieved justifiable existence. The other day my father told me a story about IBM and Bill Gates, and I thought to myself, “if I were legitimate I would have known this already.” And has this knowledge made feel more valid? No, in fact, it has made me realise how far I am from it.
But what does it mean to be legitimate? I guess not being full of bullsh*t, to be concrete yet suave. To have people look at you and not question your state of being. Put simply, reaching legitimacy to me looked like going from a confused college student to an adult with masters certificate. Going from some Nokia flip-phone to the latest iPhone. When really, is there even a significant difference between the two? Is the masters certificate and iPhone owner completely satisfied?
I think "reaching legitimacy" is the reason a lot of people do a lot of things. Like going to college, marrying, working, creating a family, or posting on social media. It all ties into the feeling of validation and importance. Something I hope not to base my actions on.
Because I sat back and I realised that like many other things in this world, I've given legitimacy an inexistent definition. Isn't it human nature to have the drive to want to be better? To strive for greater things and achieve higher standards? I told myself that legitimacy would look like being content and reaching a place I don't feel the need to leave. However, because I'm always demanding improvement and craving change, I have accepted to live in a state of wanting more. I've realised that reaching something safe and soundly will never be as rewarding as the constant hustle.
So here's to embracing the permanent space for improvement and discarding the overrated goal of "reaching legitimacy." In this world where nothing is ever good enough, we all have to realise that in some way, for someone, in some situation we never will be. “Legitimacy” is not a destination to be reached. Make yourself proud, be your own definition of what’s good enough.